• mr. ikigai

BLINDSPOT


Have you ever encountered in social media a simple fact about our eyes seeing our nose but the brain is ignoring it? According to my high-level research (lol), it is primarily a situation called “Stereo Parallax” where each eye sees the nose in a different position because it is so close. It can be noticed when we look down at our nose and alternately closing one eye after the other. The visual region that is blocked by the nose with one eye is "seen" by the other eye. During the first stage of visual processing, the brain forms a unified image from both eyes and takes the region from the eye that is not blocked by the nose. This effect is noticeable if we put a hand in front of one eye close to our face. We can still see our hand but it looks semi-transparent.


More to the physiological facts about our eyes. This trivia made me think about how one person can possibly see or not see things around us. It is when I started contemplating more about its different perspectives.


We only see what we want to see; we only hear what we want to hear. Our belief system is just like a mirror that only shows us what we believe.” - Don Miguel Ruiz

This quote is somehow true in my life (maybe yours too). I would often result to believe how things can go wrong even there are a hundred reasons why something could go right. I would often dwell on how I can prepare myself for a downfall or disappointment. Perhaps, this is already my defense mechanism.


It is particularly true for when I am faced with challenges. Being a Christian, I am beyond words appreciating how God has worked in my life in literally my whole life but I kept going back to the beginning: doubts and fears. It has actually been part of my prayer asking God to please don’t get tired of me. Because I am already too tired of myself with my self-pity episodes.


And this led me thinking, what are those things in my life that I don’t see clearly as it is, all because my mind is clouded with doubts and fears, or even anger.


Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.” - Matthew 7:3-5

I would be hypocrite to say I have never judged anyone before but I seldom do. Usually, whenever I have biases about someone I would normally brush it off my mind. I am not comfortable passing judgment to anybody for I have once been in the eyes of the storm. The life choices of my family is so intriguing enough that I couldn’t stomach when people say bad against a very familiar situation, my situation. I did not only grew up in a broken family, with parents going separate ways. That’s common these days. My mom did have another child from another man, my sister (the one I grew up with). To some that’s more or less “slutty”. My mom being the other woman in one of her failed try in relationships after our dads. I remember being scandalised by a close friend who knew about it and sneak it off my high school class. The best response was no response and the rumour just died down, and plus I was a nobody in high school. Good stuff!


As a result, I have been overly critical not of others but of myself and my family members. When I became the man of the house, I never hind my voice at them. Especially with my sister. I thought that I should watch over each of her small steps to make sure she will not stumble and fall. But no, she continued to lead her life and her own path, and now she’s a single mom to a lovely boy. Same thing with mom, often I wouldn't tell her anything but inside my head I am criticising her so much. I have long surrendered our family situation to the Lord. But I honestly don’t feel good about it. I love them just the same. I am trusting that God has his reasons.


Any how, it is the Lord that said "For behold, I create new heavens and a new earth; And the former things will not be remembered or come to mind.” - Isaiah 65:17

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